I haven’t been blogging on this site, because, to be honest, I’ve been on a tour through my own personal hell. I’m thankful to say that, last night, I found my way back. 

I’ve been confronting a lot of my inner issues, and the beliefs I’ve held so long that I didn’t even know I had them. What I discovered was the hole in my heart. 

I’m not talking about a physical hole, but a spiritual one. One that needed I had to look at, embrace, and allowed to be healed. For me, this hole was created before I was even born. Honestly, I’ve decided not to discuss what this hole was in detail, because I want to honor the souls of certain people. I’m just happy to say that it’s been healed. 

I will say that when I became aware of it, I did what my personal religious and spiritual beliefs called for – I prayed and offered it into Jesus’ hands. Almost instantaneously, the pain disappeared, and was replaced with peace. 

I will say this though. A few days ago, I pulled out a pack of oracle cards called, Magical Mermaids and Dolphins. It was created by Doreen Virtue. They’re designed specifically to help “manifest your goals, life purpose, and Divinely inspired dreams.” 

I shuffled the cards while I asked, “What to I need to do in order to manifest my goal of doing four readings a day?” When I felt moved to do so, I stopped shuffling and laid our five cards. There were in order – “Self – employment,” “Self – forgiveness,” “Mother healing,” “Morning Affirmations,” “Pay Attention.” The instruction book said to allow my intuition to tell me what each one meant before reading the meanings on the card, and in the book. 

The first one made sense, I have to be self employed to make my goals work. Was I being told to stay that way, and not look for a “job-job?” More than likely, that ’s the case. 

The second one, “self forgiveness,” really resonated with a book I started reading last week, entitled, “The Hidden Parables.” It said that the first step towards manifesting a life that’s worth living is forgiving everything and everyone. I thought the the person I needed to forgive, first and foremost, was myself. This goes back to the hole in my heart.

The third card, “mother healing,” also made sense. Just a couple of days before I pulled the cards I thought about the time I did a “card reading” for my mother using regular playing cards. I made a “prediction” both times and each one came through. I was eleven years old at the time, extremely insecure, and didn’t like the attention I was receiving from my mother and her friends for being able to do this sort of thing. “Besides,” I told my mother, “it was just a ‘coincidence’ that what I said would happen actually happened.” After that I refused to do anymore readings. 

I grew up suspicious of psychics in general. “If they’re for real, why do they live in shacks?” I used to ask myself all of the time. I had friends who claimed to be psychic, and were proud of being such. I used to wonder why anyone would admit to being “psychic” anyway? 

So now, I’m affirming that I’m doing at least 4 readings a day. And I’m paying attention to the slightest signs and synchronicities. With the healing I received last night, I’m sure that they’ll be coming at me fast and furious.