What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Is there something that keeps recurring in your life? Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Self sabotage
  • Recurring situations happening that you don’t want to happen? What you do want to happen, doesn’t?
  • No matter how hard you try to create something new in your life, you’re not able to?
  • You swear you’ll stop doing something, but find yourself doing it, over and over again?

I had a client who came to see me because she wanted to get a business off the ground, and no matter what she did, nothing seemed to work. Everything backfired. One man who offered to finance her kept backing out of their appointments to meet each other. When this happened three months in a row, she came to see me.

As we talked, I found out that her father used to say (according to her) that, “If people aren’t millionaires, they aren’t shit.”

I said to her, “It sounds to me as though you’re really angry at your father.”

“You hit the nail on the head with that one,” she told me. “To tell you the truth, I hate him.”

I went over the whole “memories become what we perceive. What we perceive is what we observe. What we observe becomes our reality,” with her. I told her that it seemed to me that she resented him saying that unless you’re rich, you aren’t worth anything. Since she “hated” him she wanted to prove him wrong; you don’t have to be a millionaire in order to be a good person.

“What better way to prove that than to be poor?” seemed to be her unconscious, habitual belief. When I mentioned this to her she asked me what I suggested she do about it.

“Well,” I said, “I can help you change that belief, but before we do, I really feel that you need to let go of your anger. What’s going on is that rather than being successful, you’d rather be angry. I think that you’re potential backer senses that anger, but because he is, in a sense, an authority figure to you, he may be thinking that you’re angry at him. The bottom line is that you’d rather be angry than successful.”

“What do you think I should do?” she asked me.

“I think your first step is that you need to forgive your father,” I told her. “By doing so you’ll be able to release the anger, and the need to prove him wrong.”

The difference between therapy and coaching is that I get to get in your face and argue with you about your bullshit. Some people take it better than others.

She sat there for a few minutes starting at me. I looked back at her, knowing what was coming.

“You hit a huge nail on the head, Anthony,” she finally said. “I am angry at my father. But what you’re asking me to do is to give up one of my favorite things in life; hating him.” (emphasis mine) She got up and starting walking away. “You really hit a huge nail on the head, Anthony. I do hate my father. I hate you too. I HATE  YOU!”

With that she walked out of my office. I’m sure she’ll come back. When she’s ready to have what she wants in her life.

I once read, that according to psychologists, as human beings we are 100% emotional. We use our logic to justify our emotions. It turns out our emotions play a huge part in what we manifest in our lives even if we say we don’t want to; and what we don’t, that we say we really do.

Guess what I’ll be talking about this week.

Wow! With talent like that, you ought to be a high roller in Las Vegas! LOL

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2 thoughts on “What’s Love Got to Do With It?

  1. That’s weird that she would get mad at you when she even agreed with you. That is a hard pill to swallow though so I understand her not being happy about it.

    Has that happened to you too? How do you tell people to let go of the anger? Maybe I’m jumping ahead. You’re probably already planning to write about that aren’t you? Haha

    I don’t know if anger is holding me back or not but I feel like even if I convinced myself I wasn’t mad about something in the past, it would still sneak up on me again later on. I was thinking maybe if that lady just went ahead and punched her dad one good time she would feel somewhat better. Just kidding. But that would be kinda cool.

    -Andi

    • Hi Andi! Thank you for the comment and the questions! You’re right, I will be writing about how to deal with not only anger, but other emotions that are holding us back. My modus operandi has been to, as I told my friend Camille, “Start with a new topic on Monday, and beat it to death all week long.” LOL

      As far as the woman I wrote about, she actually came to see me today. She told me that she’d done a lot of work around what she and I talked about, and she had actually moved to a place where she saw that she needed to forgive her father. She also said that she finally saw the fear he lived his life from, and how she learned to live her life from a place of fear as well.

      She also told me that during one of her meditations about this, she could see “money” circling her and how her energy was keeping it away! Is that cool or what? That kind of awareness I mean!

      She was actually telling me this in front of everyone in my office, clients and all. The funniest part was she said to me, “I LOVE YOU!” and kept hugging me.

      Keep in mind, I was confronting her and her most precious possession, her anger. Every once in a while people do become reallyangry at me. A former manager of mine suggested we write a disclaimer that people cannot call me names, talk about my mother, or refuse to pay me after a session! LOL With a few exceptions, every single one of those who have yelled at me have come back, or called and thanked me (as far as those I’ve coached over the phone).

      Please keep your comments coming, and let me know how you’re doing on your journey!

      Wishing you the very best life has to offer to you,
      Anthony

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