Go Out On a Limb – Here’s Your Homework for this Week!

I’ve mentioned before that I always ask my coaching clients, “If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?” Well, hopefully you’ve been doing the 90 Day Experiment with me (which is rapidly coming to a close) and you have one area in your life that you’ve been working on changing. Maybe it’s in your career, in your health, or your intimate relationships.

Now, write down three things you could do differently; what actions could you take that would not be in your comfort zone that would produce incredible results? For example, you may need to ask for help. Do you need to hire a coach or start having a framework of accountability in place?

Finally, ask three people this week whose opinion you respect, and ask them how they’d go about achieving your goal. Since it’s not their goal, they might have detached ┬áinsight that’s valuable for you.

Give up your old attitudes, excuses, reasons, and embrace new ways of doing things. That’s how breakthrough results will start happening for you.

Going Out On a Limb

Last week I asked you to take a look at the reasons (excuses) that you’re using to keep yourself safe, and small. In order to move up to the next level in your life, you’re going to have to face your fears, and risk looking foolish, making a mistake, or asking for help. You have to go out on a limb, that’s where the fruit is.

Do you tend to talk yourself out of doing what you know deep down inside you need to do to have the success, fulfillment, intimacy or passion you want? Not taking risks virtually guarantees that you’ll probably continue to create the same, predictable, results you’ve had up until now.

Reasons or Results? – Here’s Your Homework for this Week.

In my coaching practice, one of the first things I ask is, “If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?”

Think about an area of your life that you wish were different. What could you have in your life that would make you excited to wake up in the morning?

Once you have an answer, make a list of the reasons you haven’t been able to create the results you desire.

Look at the list, and ask yourself, “Is this true? Or is this an excuse? Have I given up my power to have what I want by making someone else responsible for my happiness?”

Now, ask yourself these questions:

How long have I believed this to be true?

What will my life look like in 5, 10, or 20 years if I don’t give up this excuse, or stop blaming others for what’s happening in my life?

If my life depended on it, would I be willing to stop using this excuse, or stop the blame game? (By the way, your life does depend on it.)

Whatever it is that you want to change in your life, you have to become more committed to that vision, than your excuses. This week, understand that when you stop believing your reasons, you start seeing different results.

“Show Me the Buddha!”

There’s a story from the Buddhist tradition in which an older monk asked his young disciple, “Would you like to see the Buddha?”

“Yes! Yes!” the monk answered excitedly. “Show me the Buddha!”

The older monk pulled a curtain aside and the young man found himself looking at a mirror.

In my coaching practice I’ve noticed that some, not all, of my clients are masters when it comes to inventing excuses as to why they can’t or don’t have everything they desire. Some, not all, are also really skilled at blaming other people for why they’re so unhappy.

“I couldn’t help myself.”

“My kids needed me.”

“I told Jim to handle it.”

“I had a horrible childhood.”

“I don’t get support from my husband (wife).”

“I don’t know how.”

The scary thing when I hear people making excuses or blaming others (including me) for what’s going wrong in their life, is that they believe what they’re saying. They think that they’re telling the truth.

If you’re going to have the very best life has to offer to you, you’re going to have to give up the excuses. You’re going to have to stop blaming others. You have to stop being a victim. You have to look into a mirror.

March 29, 2011 – Here’s Your Homework for This Week

Talk to three people whose opinions you value and trust. Ask them to tell you two things that they love and appreciate about you. Write down what they tell you and read it every day this week.

Write your own list about what you know about yourself. What thoughts, behaviors, attitudes and choices do you make that leave you feeling unworthy? Do you continually criticize yourself for things you do or don’t do? Do you neglect your diet or exercise program? Do you gossip? Do you constantly criticize others?

These are just some of the things we do that suggest that we’re not feeling worthy of what we desire. Make a choice to do less of the second list and more of the first.

How Worthy Do You Think You Are?

The price you’re willing to pay for anything is determined by what you think it’s worth. Whether it’s a car, purse, clothing, an item on a menu, or living a life filled with passion and purpose.

The level of love, success, fun, and pleasure you allow yourself to receive in your life is determined by how worthy you feel about receiving any of these, and more. True worthiness doesn’t come from what you do, how you look, your job, accomplishments, or your bank account. It comes from deep within you, with or without any of the trappings.

The truth is, however, that not waking up everyday feeling worthy is totally natural. Don’t expect to be in a state of “constant worthiness” of having everything you desire, no matter what the self help gurus tell you.

What you can do is nurture your sense of worthiness the same way you would a child. How? By first exposing the behaviors you engage in that undermine your sense of worthiness, and then by making a conscious effort to find and appreciate your own value, within yourself – as I said before, with or without the outward trappings of “success.”

March 15, 2011 – Your homework this week.

What are you, have you, been withholding from yourself this week? Are you taking the time to do things that are important to you, or have you been giving that time away to someone else?

What can you do this week that would be something generous you could do for yourself?

This is a principle I regularly work with my coaching clients on. People are often taught to do the exact opposite, so it’s difficult for them, but when they follow up on it, typically they’ll notice an increase in generosity from others. It’s a great way to learn about the law of attraction.