“But did you see his suit? Perfect!”

The human brain is a mirror to infinity. There is no limit to it’s range, scope or creative growth. No one knows what great leaps of achievement may be within the reach of the species once the full potentiality of the mind is developed.

Norman Cousins

A couple of weeks ago I asked a woman who came to see me for private coaching session to tell me about someone she admired. “I can’t think of anyone,” she told me. “Everyone has problems of their own.”

Well, no kidding. But that’s not what I asked her. What her answer did tell me was that she was afraid of the beauty that was inside of her.

If we aren’t aware of the beauty within us, we can’t see it in others. The question is, “Why are we so unaware of who we really are?”

To answer this question I like to tell a story about a man named Steve, who decided to treat himself to a fine suit, so he went to a tailor to have one custom made. “I want nothing but the best,” he told the tailor, “because I deserve it.”

The tailor took his measurements, and told him to come back in 6 weeks.

Six weeks later Steve came back to the tailor’s shop, excited to try on his new suit. The suit was beautiful to see. But when Steve put it on, he noticed that one of the sleeves was a bit short. He mentioned this to the tailor.

“The sleeve isn’t short. You have one arm longer that the other. Just pull your arm up and you’ll see that the sleeve will fit you perfectly.”

So Steve pulled his arm up into the sleeve a bit, and sure enough, the end of the sleeve came down to where it should be on his wrist. “See!” The tailor said, happily. “The sleeve is perfect!”

Steve said to him, “That’s true, but now my collar is bunching up.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the collar,” the tailor said. “If you round your shoulders forward, you’ll see that the collar will fit you perfectly!”

So Steve pushed his shoulders forward, and the collar lay flat around his neck. “Perfect!” the tailor shouted excitedly.

“But now my butt is sticking out!” Steve said, starting to become frustrated.

“Curve your back in and bring your butt up,” the tailor told him. “You’ll see, it’ll be fine.”

Trusting the tailor knew what he was talking about Steve did as he was told, but he noticed that the legs of the pants were higher than he wanted them. “Lock your knees straight, and your pants will come back down to your shoes,” the tailor told him.

Steve paid for the suit, then slowly, and painfully, walked out of the shop trying to keep his suit in place on his body. Two women were passing by. “Did you see how crippled that poor man is?” one of the ladies asked her friend.

“I know! It’s terrible! But did you see his suit? It fit him perfectly!”

All too often we go through life feeling crippled, instead of standing tall. Instead of being made to feel powerful and magical creators, we are told that physical events cause mental events, but that the mind does not affect physical reality.

If something “magical” happens in your life, it’s dismissed as coincidence.

Watching the evening news with it’s stories of death, disease, disasters, and war, leaves you with the feeling that you’re powerless to effect any change.

You are told you were born in “sin,” and a wretched being, despicable in the eyes of the god who created you.

Right now, after reading just that, how magical are you feeling? How powerful? Yet we are  bombarded with these sorts of messages from early on in our lives.

Whatever is a part of who we are that we deny in order to please someone else, in order to conform to what we are told we should be, becomes a dark part of our personality; it becomes what Carl Jung called, “Our “shadow.” The good news is that this energy is still available to serve you.

So what should you do? Take your power from the “authorities” in your mind. As you start to question yourself and look honestly at your life, you’ll discover that the only “authority figure” is within you.

You weren’t meant to walk around an emotional cripple. You came into this world perfect. To have to contort yourself in order to please others not only hurts, it’s wrong.

Remember your greatness. You are already a magician. You are a creator. You were from the moment you were born.

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90 Day Experiment – Day 6 – Actually, This Was a Good Thing!

As I was planning on what I wanted to write about this week, every idea I came up with didn’t feel right, until I thought about writing about our “shadow.”

Uncovering someone’s shadow is typically what I try to do fairly early on when I’m working with someone in my private practice. Our shadow contains all of the parts of ourself we deny we have, resist, dislike and try to keep in the dark. This content is both divine, and corrupt. When someone doesn’t want to confront their shadow during a session with me, that’s usually when they start yelling and calling me names, telling me how happy and nice they are! LOL

We spend a lot of energy denying that this energy exists within us. Carl Jung, who first coined the term “shadow” once said, “The brighter the persona, the darker the shadow.”

I’m bringing all of this up because tonight I had to confront a part of my shadow. The encounter started yesterday, and fully blew up tonight. Some of my feelings of unworthiness came up. I worked through them, with the help of my coach, but I want to tell you what it felt like, so you know not if, but when you encounter your own shadow. Thoughts of anger, and “unfairness,” kept coming up. Other thoughts like,

“This isn’t worth it.”

“This is too hard.”

“What the hell is the point?”

“I’m so sick and tired of this shit anymore.”

On, and on, and on, it went, and I just let the feelings come up, and gave them validity. If I denied them, or tried to “think positively,” I would have missed the message these feelings were trying to bring to my attention. At the bottom of them was the belief that I’m really not that lovable, or worthy of what having the love I want.

With the help of my coach, who allowed me to safely deal with my feelings of unworthiness, I came to my senses. I then turned my disempowering thoughts into empowering questions.

For example, “What the hell’s the point?” became, “Why is all of the inner work I’m doing worth it in the end?” Another one I asked myself was, “Why am I so happy and grateful right now?”

“This isn’t worth it,” became, “Why are my desires important and worthy of my every effort to manifest them into my reality?”

Keep  in mind, I’m only asking these questions. I’m not answering them. As soon as I started asking them, I started feeling better.

I’m grateful I was able to feel some of the feelings I have that are slowing down what I want to bring into my life. I’m grateful that they came up, so I had a chance to integrate them into my being, allowing the energy to work for me, instead of against me. They showed me beliefs that needed healing. I had the chance to embrace these feelings, rather than continuing to run from them. My “enemy” has become my ally.