I have a new website – www.anthonyquinata.com

I want to thank all of you who have supported me on this blog. In late December of 2010, I decided to change my career path to spiritual coaching, and the focus of this blog to reflect the transition.

In February, I was blogging about my 90 Day Experiment, in which I set a goal, and used it to learn more about myself. The result was that I knew I had to create a new website to reach more people.

My new website is an extension of this blog, and will allow me to help more people. I hope you’ll come by and check it out! I like to think of it as this blog on steroids.

Thank you!

The 90 Day Experiment we started on February 1st is now over. If you’ve been with me the whole time, I want to congratulate you!

My intention at the beginning of the experiment was to write an eBook. I’ve written three. I’m starting a new project which I’ll be sharing with you in the very near future.

In the meantime, I want to thank you for your support, comments, and feedback!

Wishing you the very best life has to offer to you,

Anthony

Forgiving Yourself – Here’s Your Homework For This Week

Forgiveness happens when you quit wishing that the past were different. This week, write out a list of all of the behaviors, and incidents you’ve done, disliked, resisted, or are judging yourself for.

As you read over your list, pause before each item and say to yourself, “Even though I _____________, I still deeply, and completely, love, accept and forgive myself.” For example: “Even though I don’t have a job, I still deeply, and completely, love, accept and forgive myself.” “Even though I’ve abused myself with alcohol, I still deeply, and completely, love, accept and forgive myself.” “Even though I’m 25 pounds overweight, I still deeply, and completely, love, accept and forgive myself.” “Even though I’m living with (cancer, arthritis, heart disease, etc.), I still deeply, and completely, love, accept and forgive myself.”

As you love, accept and forgive yourself through your list, breathe in deeply, feel your feelings, and let go of your guilt and shame. You’ve held onto them long enough.

Forgive Yourself

I’ve been talking about healthy self love, and I want to talk today about self-forgiveness. People typically tend to forget all of the good things they’ve done and dwell on their mistakes and shortcomings.

You have no control over the past. Keeping yourself bound to what you’ve done in the past keeps you feeling powerless. Forgiving yourself empowers you. It increases your love of who you are, and frees you from the “chains” of the past, opening the door to a new future, and an extraordinary life.

I’d like you to meet my hero – she’ll become your hero too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7lfaSmDxVZQ

Healthy Self Love – Here’s Your Homework This Week

It’s been my experience that “people pleasers” seem to be “nice,” but are often seething with anger inside.

What area of your life has people pleasing caused you to feel resentment, powerless, or made you feel like giving up?

Is your desire to be liked, to look nice, and put others before you really getting you what you want? Really?

Or could that energy be better used to increase your sense of deserving, joy, and self love?

I have a client named Thom. When Thom first came to see me, he had tears in his eyes from the start of our session. He was abused sexually as a child, and made to feel as though he didn’t matter. He hated life, he hated people, and most of all, he hated himself. You wouldn’t know it though. He was a “nice” guy. He was someone people easily took advantage of. He was a walking, talking victim.

Today was his fourth session with me. “I’m not a victim,” he told me. “I’m a person with past experiences. I wouldn’t wish those experiences on anyone, but what I’ve realized is that they made me who I am today.”

Now, that’s what I’m talking about!

What three actions could you take this week that would be pleasing to you? Take them.

Healthy Self Love, cont.

I believe that there’s an unspoken epidemic that’s sapping people of the time and energy they need to nurture their dreams and realize their goals. It’s called, “people pleasing.”

I can’t begin to tell you how many of the people I work with who seem to have learned from an early age that pleasing others is a good way to receive validation or affection. By the time they come to see me it’s such a habit that when we talk about what they need to do, my suggestions have to go through a filter of thinking, “How can I do this for myself without letting others down?”

I know that I was guilty of this, especially in my twenties. I simply couldn’t imagine people I loved being able to take care of themselves and their own needs without me. What can I say? I was pretty arrogant.

I do my fair share of flying, enough to know that should the air bag come down for some reason, I’m supposed to put it on myself first, before worrying about the person next to me. My life changed for the better when I started taking care of myself first, and allowed people to take care of themselves.  I can tell you, their lives changed for the better as well.

This week, instead of thinking of how you can “earn” the love of others by pleasing them, practice healthy self love and look for ways to please yourself.

Healthy Self Love

I just read a great post in Melanie Blystra’s blog in which she talks about buying beautiful roses for herself. She said she doesn’t know what came over her.

I know what’s going on. It’s called, “healthy self love.” That’s what the point of this blog has really been about.

What I love about Melanie’s story is that she’s extremely shy, and at the start of her 90 Day Experiment, she made the intention of making her beautiful handmade cards into a business, which she did. Recently, she had an opportunity to become a professional party planner, which she took advantage of. Now, she’s buying herself flowers.

I also want to acknowledge Marian Kramer, who made a comment on one of my posts that she’s hearing herself laugh again.

Laughter is the outward sign of inward hope. Healthy laughter is another sign of self love.

What sign(s) are you showing yourself? Let me know. I’d really love to hear your story.

You can read Melanie’s blog post by going here, http://pupkinstuff1027.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/something-for-me/.

Speaking of Being Out on a Limb!

A very funny thought (to me at least) struck me yesterday. In my last post I talked about about Steve Massing (http://themassings.net/sitesbysteve/) is helping me create a website that he’s had no experience creating before, so for him, this is going out on a limb.

Well, what occurred to me was that once the framework is up, I have no idea what the hell I’ll be doing after that! I can’t tell you how exciting that is for me!

As I said before, a lot of clients I work with will tell me, “I don’t know how …,” or, “I don’t know what to do ….” As a coach my job is, in part, to move them past that point. Another part of my job, in my never to be humble opinion, is to also be a role model. In other words, how can I help people, with any integrity, if I’m not doing what I’m teaching?

So this morning I started thinking of what I wanted to do, and how I would feel once I was doing it. Just thinking about what I wanted to do I knew would lead me to “paralysis analysis.” I then envisioned what I wanted, and started asking myself why what I wanted is already a reality. I then started feeling the excitement of my project already being a reality. That feeling gave me the motivation to get off of my duff and do something.

What I wanted to do was homework Steve asked me to do, and I started to do, but found myself stuck dong yesterday afternoon. I got out of bed still feeling stuck, but knowing I had to do something.

How did I know what to do next? I didn’t. I just did something, which in this case, was turn on my computer. I did a Google search about what I’m going to do, which led me to You Tube (and a few other sites from which I got a couple of free eBooks on the subject I was researching) and from there I found a woman name Lisa Irby. One thing led to another and now I know how to do what Steve asked of me, but in a way that expresses who I am.

As I write this, adrenaline is literally coursing through my body, I’m so excited! Again, I want to stress to you that this morning, hell, yesterday afternoon, I was at a standstill, not knowing how I was going to do my homework.

My point is, when you don’t know what to do to make your dream a reality, to have the very best life has to offer to you, don’t just sit (or lay in bed) thinking about all the reasons something won’t work … do something.

This Is What Passion Is About!

I had lunch with my friends, Camille and Steve Massing (http://themassings.net/sitesbysteve/) today. Steve and I were meeting to discuss my upcoming project which was borne from the 90 Day Experiment I started January 2, 2011. We were discussing options and possibilities today, and I was impressed with Steve’s suggestions.

I’d like to tell you what blew me away even more though. Steve admitted to me that he had never done what I’d asked him to do before! Somehow, though, I’m not surprised. You see, Steve has forgotten more than I’ll ever know about computers, and the Internet, but this is his passion. Camille and I were having lunch together last week, and I mentioned this, and she told me that every time new software comes out, he gets really excited! Now, that’s what I’m talking about!

Compare and contrast that to clients I work with to uncover their passion and purpose. One client I’m working with is in a graduate program studying for a career change in one field, when it’s obvious his passion isn’t in that field, but another one completely different. “I need to make money,” was his response when I asked him why.

There was a book that came out years ago entitled, “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I thought that was true. My answer is a resounding, “Yes!”

Of course, the objection I typically hear is, “But I don’t know how.” You learn. Just as Steve is doing with this project he’s working with me on. Passion will get you through the lean times, while you’re learning how to monetize doing what you love to do. The money Steve will earn working with me is nothing compared to his potential earnings if he decides to expand what he learns from doing this into a full, or even part time, business. Better than that, he’ll be doing it in a field he loves.

Thanks Steve, for everything. You too, Camille.

If you’re thinking about building a website, please check Steve out, http://themassings.net/sitesbysteve/.